MAUREEN
Every single day, I walk down the street.
I hear people say
"Baby's so sweet"
Ever since puberty everybody stares at me -
Boys, girls, I can't can't help it, baby.
So be kind and don't lose your mind,
just remember that I'm your baby!
Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be,
and if you give a damn,
Take me, baby, or leave me,
Take me, baby, or leave me...

A tiger in a cage can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage!
Baby, let's have fun!
You are the one I choose,
folks would kill to fill your shoes...
You love the limelight too, now, baby...
So be mine and don't waste my time,
cryin' "Oh, Honeybear, are you still my, my, my baby?"

JOANNE:
Don't you dare!

MAUREEN:
Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be,
and if you give a damn,
take me, baby, or leave me.

No way can I be what I'm not,
but hey - Don't you want your girl hot?
Don't fight, don't lose your head,
'cause every night,
who's in your bed?
Who?
Whooooo's in your bed?
Kiss, Pookie?

JOANNE:
It won't work!
I look before I leap,
I love margins and discipline,
I make lists in my sleep,
baby, what's my sin?
Never quit, I follow through,
I hate mess, but I love you!
What to do with my impromptu, baby?
So be wise, 'cause this girl satisfies!
You've got a prize, so don't compromise...
You're one lucky baby!
Take me for what I am!

MAUREEN:
A control freak.

JOANNE:
Who I was meant to be...

MAUREEN:
A snob, yet over-attentive.

JOANNE:
And if you give a damn...

MAUREEN:
A lovable, droll geek.

JOANNE:
Take me, baby, or leave me!

MAUREEN:
An anal retentive!

BOTH:
That's it!

JOANNE:
The straw that breaks my back.

BOTH:
I quit!

JOANNE:
Unless you take it back!

BOTH:
Women!

MAUREEN
What is it about them?

BOTH:
Can't live with them,
or without them!
Take me for what I am!
JOANNE:
Who I...
MAUREEN:
Who I was meant to be...
BOTH:
And if you give a damn, you better...
JOANNE:
Take me, baby
MAUREEN:
Oh, take me, baby.
Take me, o-o-o-or le-e-e-ve me!
BOTH:
Take me, babyyyyyyy-y-y-y!
Or leave me!

Guess I'm leavin'...
I'm gone!